A six-pack of beer festivals worth traveling to

Gird your loins, drinkers: It's beer-festival season. From now until late October is the busiest time of the year for these taste extravaganzas, where you can sample a wide variety of beers from brewers large and small.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24411928/

World's coolest trucks

The Inland Empire is a place where growth has no boundaries! So, if you are looking for a new car…or better yet, a new work truck, than the Inland Empire Auto Show is where you can find what you are looking for.
Check them out on:
http://www.loqu.com/world-s-coolest-trucks/blogs/ddoll-199

All salmon fishing banned on West Coast

Salmon fishing was banned along the West Coast for the first time in 160 years Thursday, a decision that is expected to have a devastating economic impact on fishermen, dozens of businesses, tourism and boating.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/02/BABT10F7PE.DTL&tsp=1

Dinosaur Poop Sells for $1000 at Auction

A pile of pricey dinosaur poop has sold for nearly $1,000 at a New York auction. Steve Tsengas of Fairport Harbor, Ohio dropped $960 for the 130 million-year-old fossilized dung from the Jurassic era. Tsengas owns OurPets, a company specializing in products that treat pet waste, and hopes to use his poop purchase as a marketing tool. “Poop,” he commented, “is a big business in the pet industry.”

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iNX_xA1uONjuakOPO4spC9Ij568wD90CIMU05

First Filly Since 1999 to Run in Kentucky Derby

Beyond discussions of mint juleps and giant hats, the talk of this weekend’s Kentucky Derby will likely surround the race’s first filly competing since 1999. Eight Belles will challenge 19 boys for the prestigious crown and with a four-race winning streak, she might have an underdog chance. In 134 years of the Derby, only 38 fillies have ventured out to run with the boys in sports’ most thrilling two minutes.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/more/04/30/derby.set.ap/index.html?section=si_latest

Baby Monkey Mistakes Teddy Bear for Mom

A three-week-old white-naped mangabey monkey has cuddled up with a teddy bear, mistaking the fluffy stuffed-animal for her mother. Little Conchita’s mommy underwent a caesarean and has not yet recovered, so the baby primate has lovingly taken to the bear as a canoodle companion. Awwww, adorable!http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=563068&in_page_id=1770

Town in Chile Offers Free Viagra to Seniors

Women in a working class suburb of Santiago, Chile have their eyes open for rabid old men frolicking around with erections after the town’s mayor launched a program that supplies free Viagra to senior citizens. Lo Prado Mayor Gonzalo Navarrete justified his peppy penis project by saying, “an active sexuality improves the overall quality of life.” Interested men must be at least 60-years-old, register with the local health service and have a doctor certify their erectile dysfunction.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24391930/?GT1=43001

Even Check Forgery is Bigger in Texas

Charles Ray Fuller is a 21 year old Texan with dreams of starting a record label. So he allegedly borrowed his girlfriend’s mother’s checkbook and wrote himself a check for $360 Billion — that’s 10 zeros to the left of the decimal point. Bank tellers became suspicious and called his girlfriend’s mother, who denied giving him the check. He was arrested for check forgery, carrying a weapon, and possession of marijuana.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080502/ap_on_fe_st/odd_check_for_billions

CDC: 77% of New Mothers Breast-Feed

A new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveals that the U.S. breast-feeding rate has hit its highest point in over 20 years with approximately 77 percent of new mothers opting to give babies the boob. The CDC has surveyed woman on infant feeding habits since the mid-1980s and the latest figure rates as an all-time high. The largest rise in breast-feeding came in the African-American community, where the figure rose to 65 percent from only 36 percent in 1993-1994. For Mexican-Americans, the number went up to 80 percent, from 67 percent and for whites, it rose from 62 percent to 79 percent.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-04-30-breastfeeding-moms_N.htm

500-Year-Old Shipwreck Yields a Treasure Booty

Fierce weather off the coast of Namibia sent a treasure-filled ship to the bottom of the ocean nearly 500 years ago, but now an exploration led by diamond company De Beers has uncovered the long-lost booty. De Beers geologists stumbled on the shipwreck treasures that include tons of copper ingots, elephant tusks, gold coins and cannons likely used to fend off greedy pirates. The ship probably came from Spain or Portugal and sank in the late 1400s or early 1500s. Arrrrr booty!
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hLN9iGw6G67LjeN3DXlhMPbF08TQD90D0Q6O7

Why Do American Corporations Have More Rights than People?

500 years ago the "corporation" was invented as a legal form to allow investors to engage in public works. Over the years, corporations gained the right to engage in any kind of business, but they were still convenient "legal fictions" until 1886 when the U.S. Supreme Court declared that corporations are "persons" and gave them the same rights as living human beings -- and more.
http://www.jashford.com/pages/worldcorps.html

Professor Fired for Not Adhering to Biblical Standards

Wheaton College takes the Bible seriously: students and professors must sign a "covenant" pledging to lead their lives in accordance with Christian teaching.So when Kent Gramm, violated scriptures and skirted school rules, he had to go. Gramm was fired last month because he got a divorce.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=4758480&page=1

Coming economic shocks could spark depression

When a Gallup Poll showed that 59% of Americans believe a full-fledged economic depression is "somewhat likely" within the next two years, WCCO News in Minneapolis sought out economics professor Raymond Robertson to ask, "Is this the recession that will become a depression?"
http://rawstory.com/rawreplay/?p=932

Obama the 'curly-haired one'

The "little curly-haired one" is well remembered by his Indonesian teacher Israella Darmawan.

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/US_Elections_2008/0,,2-10-2339_2309413,00.html

Deborah Palfrey Commits Suicide

Deborah Palfrey, convicted of running a high-end Washington prostitution ring that snagged Sen. David Vitter (R), killed herself Thursday, weeks after her trial ended on charges that she said she would never go to prison for. Palfrey was convicted April 15 by a federal jury of running a prostitution service that catered to D.C.'s political elite.

http://www.miamiherald.com/459/story/517179.html

Who Needs Marriage Counseling When You Have Comedy Videos?

Some of your favorite comics offer their unique perspectives on marriage.
http://www.startyourtube.com/blog/needs-marriage-counseling-comedy-videos/

Spitzer's Rise, Fall to be Published in New Book

A little more than a month after New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer announced his resignation, Penguin Group imprint Portfolio will be publishing a book about his career "from start to finish," president and publisher Adrian Zackheim told CNN.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/05/01/spitzer.book/index.html?eref=rss_mostpopular

Antioxidants: Nature's Anti-Aging Prescription

Antioxidants are believed to be effective in helping to prevent cancer, heart disease, stroke and a variety of other ailments by destroying harmful free radicals inside the body. Antioxidant are also linked to anti-aging both inside and outside (when applied to the skin) the body.
http://www.carefair.com/Nutrition/Antioxidants_Anti_Aging_Prescription_4941.html

Barbara Walters Admits Affair With Senator

After three decades of keeping mum, Barbara Walters is disclosing a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as "exciting" and "brilliant."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/01/barbara-walters-admits-af_n_99688.html

78% Of Angry Teens Too Lazy To Run Away From Home

Researchers at the University of Notre Dame announced results of a three-year study which suggest a majority of today's teenagers who are frustrated with their home life are simply too lazy to bother with running away.

http://www.recoilmag.com/news/teens_too_lazy_0807.html

Going Topless?

The Naked Truth About Women and Bare Breasts
Should Women Be Allowed By Law To Show Their Breasts in Public? Take the poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in:

http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/sex-intimacy/censorship-sexual-repression/topless-the-naked-truth-about-women-and-bare-breasts-poll/

Diet Coke + Lemon Wedge = DEATH

If you worry about terrorists, nuclear war, global warming, or Republicans killing you, worry no more! Microbiologist Anne LaGrange Loving reports that a more immediate killer might be wedged into the top of your drinking glass. She tested lemon wedges from 21 different restaurants and found that 70% of them were contaminated with bacteria, including a s—load of fecal bacteria.
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/03/06/733996.aspx

Top April Fool’s Day Hoaxes and Pranks of All Time

From putting tuna on your partner’s toothbrush to sending your friends Alpaca breeding catalogues, April Fool’s Day is filled with little chuckle-inducing pranks, but some hoaxes and pranks top any Joe Shmoe tricks. The funny folks over at Museum of Hoaxes have compiled a list of the top 100 April Fool’s Day hoaxes, including the Taco Liberty Bell, Nixon’s 1992 presidential campaign and the Sydney Iceberg. BBC’s 1957 Swiss Spaghetti Harvest hoax topped the list.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/P0/

Dumped Dames Dishing Diamonds

Thanks to Web 2.0, girls can use WordPress or ExpressionEngine to hawk the expensive gifts their ex-boyfriends gave them before their relationships ended. Enter exboyfriendjewelry.com, the brainchild of Megahn Perry and her step mother, Marie Perry. At this site women can hawk their jewelry and tell their stories. Guys, if you’re looking for women on the rebound…

http://www.exboyfriendjewelry.com/

How Long Should Sex Take? Survey Says 3 to 13 Minutes

No time for a sex romp? No worries, as a new survey of sex therapists reveals that the optimal amount of time for a roll in the hay takes about as many minutes as preparing instant rice. Mmm, rice and a quickie. Anyway, the survey puts the optimal amount of time for intercourse at 3 to 13 minutes with the median time at 7.3 minutes. Men take note: the time does not take into account foreplay. The survey also noted that sex lasting 1 to 2 minutes doesn’t quite satisfy, calling uber-quickies “too short.” The findings will appear in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/02/sex.survey.ap/index.html

Swedish Doctors Check For Two Penises

Drug addicts in northern Sweden allegedly employed fake penises in an attempt to submit fake urine samples, so now doctors have begun double checking the authenticity of the druggie’s organ. Swedish police recently confiscated a fake wiener while raiding a drug abuser’s home and physicians say their methods of pee sample collection have changed to ensure no false samples. Hmm, where does one purchase a fake penis anyway? Oh, nevermind.

http://www.thelocal.se/11140/20080416/

Naked Mom Calendar Leaves Spanish Women With $16,000 Debt

A group of wannabe cougars in Spain stripped down and posed for an amusing erotic calendar as a fundraiser for their children’s school, but shockingly, residents of the small town have little interest in pouting, naked middle-aged women. Despite early success and seductive shots that include props like tinsel, shotguns and fox pelts, calendar sales trailed off, leaving the mothers with a $16,000 printer bill. Forget peddling the hot pics on the streets of rural Serradilla del Arroyo, the naked mamas need an eBay account and FedEx hook-up stat.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351445,00.html

Romanian Man Superglues Condom to Penis

A father-of-five and his wife decided they didn’t want any more rug-rats, so the couple came up with a brilliant idea–supergluing a condom to the man’s penis. Genius! The 43-year-old Romanian said he found regular sized condom a bit too “roomy” and rather than drop more moola on XS rubbers, Nicolae Popovici decided to break out the superglue. Popovici figured that by supergluing the oversized condoms, he could not only make them fit, but also re-use the contraceptive. Needless to say, the plan got a bit sticky when Nicolae couldn’t remove the condom and had to sheepishly wander into the local clinic for help.

http://www.theweirdpost.com/wordpress/2008/04/man-superglues-condom-to-penis-to-save-on-safe-sex/

Penis Theft Panic in Congo

Penis theft is a crime you’d expect to hear about after a booze-filled evening or at the Hustler store on Sunset, but in Congo, genital stealing has an entirely different, and more heebeejeebes-inducing, meaning. Police in the African nation have arrested 13 alleged sorcerers, who reportedly stole or shrunk men’s penises in an attempt to extort cash.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKL2290323220080422?sp=true

Masturbation Could Prevent Prostate Cancer

Grin away men; Australian researchers have discovered that men who regularly masturbate cut their chances of developing prostate cancer. Personal pleasuring sessions allow men to rid their prostates of cancer-causing chemicals that can accumulate if not ejaculated. Before all you frisky fellows skip off for some random rolls in the sack, beware that sexual intercourse does not reap the same benefits because of an increased risk of contracting an STD.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

Kate Hudson Lands on Cover of People’s Most Beautiful 2008

People Magazine’s annual list of the 100 Most Beautiful People includes the stunning mugs of Halle Berry and Patrick Dempsey, but actress Kate Hudson serves as this year’s lovely cover girl for the much-anticipated issue. The 29-year-old daughter of Goldie Hawn admits she was a bit of a tomboy growing up and says she feels most attractive “at the end of the night.” People’s 100 Most Beautiful People issue hits stand Friday.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20196561,00.html

Florida Moves to Ban Fake Testicles on Vehicles

Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of countless trucks and cars throughout the Sunshine State. Motorists could face fines of up to $60 if caught with the “Truck Nutz.” If the story sounds familiar, it is; Virginia considered a similar ban back in January.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN4O32105020080425

Crotch Keyboard Integrated Into New Pants Design

Nothing says “geek style” quite like pants featuring a keyboard conveniently placed over the crotch. Designer Erik De Nijs also integrated a pair of speakers into the knees, a back-pocket mouse and a joystick controller behind the front zipper. Umm, yeah, a “joystick.” Wink, wink.
http://www.vouspensez.com/2008/04/22/the-geekiest-pants-ever/

Iranian Official Issues Warning Against Importing Barbie Dolls

Looks like Backpacker Barbie won’t make her way to Iran as a high-level Iranian official has warned against the “destructive” cultural and social consequences of permitting the blonde bombshell into the conservative nation. Judiciary official Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said Western toys, including the busty doll, present a “danger” and called for their importation to be stopped.

http://www.nj.com/newsflash/index.ssf?/base/international-43/1209395063242320.xml&storylist=topstories

Spam Turns Thirty

On May 2nd, 1978 an aggressive marketer decided to invite 393 Arpanet users to a product presentation by Digital Equipment Corporation. In those days, all the email addresses had to be manually typed in. That was the beginning of spam. Today, spam is thirty years old and with all of todays advancement in technology, there seems to be no end in sight. Obviously, because spam has more to do with people and their intentions than computers and technology.

http://www.templetons.com/brad/spamreact.html#msg

Teens Get :) and LOL in Formal School Writing Assignments

A new survey from the Pew Internet and American Life Project reveals that two-thirds of teens admit to using emoticons and other informal styles in academic writing assignments. OMG! Teens who write blogs and frequent sites like Facebook or MySpace have a greater tendency towards using informal writing techniques. The shift in writing styles could mean a “language change,” according to the chairman of the commission’s advisory board. A new language change could emerge over the next generation or two and spell the end of capitalization or proper use of commas. LHTWSF (Learn How to Write Silly Faces.)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24294592/

Lesbos Island Residents Sue Group Over “Lesbian” Name

The Greek Gay and Lesbian Union could face a name change, if the residents of the Greek island of Lesbos have their way. Citizens of the island filed a legal complaint this week demanding the group removes the word “lesbian” from its name because, the suit contends, Lesbos inhabitants suffer “psychological and moral rape” from the “seizure” of their island’s name by homosexuals. A spokesman for the group called the issue “totally ridiculous.” In related news, the residents of Dildo, Newfoundland have considered legal action against the sex toy industry.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1912191/Islanders-want-legal-right-to-be-'true-lesbians'.html?loc=interstitialskip

Largest Eyes in the Animal Kingdom

Marine scientists have found a giant squid with eyes as big as oranges. In fact the eyes which measure about eleven inches across, are the largest eyes found till date in the animal kingdom. The squid itself measured about twenty six feet and weighed over a thousand pounds. Wonder what they can see!

http://www.smh.com.au/news/science/supersquids-a-giant--and-not-fully-grown/2008/04/30/1209234925102.html

Your Favourite TV Shows Live Online Free with Video Streaming Link

Watch Your Favourite TV Shows live online free with Tvants streaming link on:
http://www.channelsurfing.net/

Deal or No Deal 9:00PM EST 4/30
Law & Order 11:00PM EST 4/30
America's Next Top Model (IE ONLY) 11:00PM EST 4/30
Price Is Right Million Dollar Spectacular (IE ONLY) 11:00PM EST 4/30
Farmer Wants a Wife (IE ONLY) 12:00PM EST 4/30
Criminal Minds (IE ONLY) 12:00PM EST 4/30

Cristian de la Fuente

In this image released by ABC, Cristian de la Fuente suffers an injury while performing the samba with his partner Cheryl Burke, Monday, April 28, 2008, on ABC's 'Dancing With The Stars'. De la Fuente began struggling near the end of the samba. He gripped his arm and seemingly tried to shake off the pain. But it finally gave away when he couldn't hold onto Burke anymore, and she fell to the floor.(AP Photo/ABC, Kelsey McNeal)

Who says ballroom dancing is not brutal on the body?

Getting through the samba was painful for Cristian de la Fuente on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars." The Chilean soap star suffered a severe muscle cramp in his left forearm while performing with dance partner Cheryl Burke on Monday night's show.

De la Fuente, who gained fame on Spanish-language television and has guest-starred on U.S. TV on progams such as “CSI: Miami” and “Ugly Betty,” was finishing a saucy latin spin around the dance floor Monday night when he could no longer hold his pose with professional ballroom dancer Cheryl Burke. His arm seemingly cramped up, and after an impromptu commercial break on the live TV show, de la Fuente returned to the stage grimacing in pain with his arm bandaged.

De la Fuente began struggling near the end of the samba. He gripped his arm and seemingly tried to shake off the pain. But it finally gave away when he couldn't hold onto Burke anymore, and she fell to the floor.

Keoni Kai Lucas

Son of famed Kauai gentleman surfer Jimmy Lucas, Keoni was driving home late after work towards his Santa Monica, California home and fell asleep at the steering wheel. He passed away tragically late at night on Saturday, March 29th.

Lucas, a longtime surfer and sailboarder, was often pegged as a friendly, outgoing guy who was well respected throughout the Hawaiian surf community. He moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry and was known to be a hard worker who always had a smile on his face and lived life to the fullest.

He was camera operator for Hell's Kitchen and last night's show was dedicated to him.

Don't Complain; Enjoy Your Life..

If you think you don't have many friends, ask yourself if you have one sincere friend

if you think your salary is low, how about her?

If you think your job is tough, how about him?
if you think you are unhappy, look at them


if u think society is unfair to you, how about her?

if you complain about your transport system, how about them?

if you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?

when you feel like giving up, think of this man

you think study is a burden, how about her?

Words of Wisdom

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting.' Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried.

She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this: 'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Would You Dare to Walk on This?

The Grand Canyon is a much sought after tourist place, and one of the greatest natural wonders in the world. But few people know how high the place is.

There is a glass bridge that has been built, and it allows the viewers to walk over that and enjoy the experience of the canyon. Glass Bridge is suspended 4,000 feet above the Colorado River on the very edge of the Grand Canyon .

The pictures cover the glass bridge from all angles and one can see how intimidating the height is.

On May 2005, the final test was conducted and the structure passed engineering requirements by 400 percent, enabling it to withstand the weight of 71 fully loaded Boeing 747 airplanes (more that 71 million pounds).

The bridge is able to sustain winds in excess of 100 miles per hour from 8 different directions, as well as an 8.0 magnitude earthquake within 50 miles. More than one million pounds of steel went into the construction of the Grand Canyon SkyWalk.

Peripheral Knowledge

2 Tough QuestionsQuestion

1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she hadsyphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Scroll down slowly

Question 2:It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?

Candidate A - Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologistHe's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium incollege and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C - He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?

Makes a person think before judging someone. Wait till you see the end of this note!

Keep reading..

Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember:

Amateurs...built the ark.

Professionals...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

* 7 have been arrested for fraud

* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks

* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

* 3 have done time for assault

* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of world in line.

Men's Logic

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.

The Problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor. The child Should be in my custody. "

The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out... Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

10 Most Stupid Questions People Usually Ask in Obvious Situations

1. At the movies:When you meet cquaintances/friendsStupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabsso I thought i'd watch some advertisements inthe cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again or should i try thistime."

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people askStupid Question :-Why, why him, of all people. Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together.When some distant auntmeets you after years Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and youask Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phonecall Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping. Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malikwas betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidentlyshorter hair Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objectsin your mouth Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts? Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute womanasks Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

The birth of a Candybar

Crowd Control

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver, Colorado, for being smart and funny and making her point when confronted with an angry passenger. During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F--- you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
The crowd applauded - and the errors of United were forgotten in a moment of almost universal bliss.

A Wife is a wife, no matter who you are!!

Guess the Cup size

If this doesn't put a smile in your heart, nothing else will! ?

Guess what cup size?
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Okay, what did you guess??
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The truth revealed........Scroll down?
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This kid's gonna hate his Mom for this some day! ?

Best joke in Britan

A Chinese walks into a bar in america late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

( This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain )

Yes...... The Meeting

I play this before sleep at night."Surely I could tell,when I sleep 2 night, a dream will call and raise it's head in majesty, to the meeting of your love."

Michael Stanley Band - Let's Get The Show On The Road

Thought i would put this up today.It's not metal,lol..The Michael Stanley Band was a good band with good regional success.This song is live and is one of my favorite live recordings(although the conversion to mp3's hurts the quality)because of the great production.Hope you enjoy this oldie.